the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
