also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Randomize
