STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We had to coat check the pizza.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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