I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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