Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Congratulations! We have a period
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
