I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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