dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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