hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
