Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
