This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
