I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
