why didn't you poke me back
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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