We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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