Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
