he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
