I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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