Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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