Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
