It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
