I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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