Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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