so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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