Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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