I like to think it a success when the cops are called
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
pray to the hookup gods
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
jump out the window naked night went bad
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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