tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
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