i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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