Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
That's how pantless uber rides happen
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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