I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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