I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
