You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
