Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
