I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
