it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
