He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
