New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
