...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
