Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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