i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
