I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
