Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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