she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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