So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
