there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
