kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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