chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
