Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You can't just leave with hair like that
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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