I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
