spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
