so let's talk penis.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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