we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
