Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Randomize
